Approaching retirement, a person may have vague plans to travel, relax, and start new hobbies, but when the aging process sets in, and health declines, visits to the doctor can become the primary focus. Conversations start to revolve around health topics and lab reports, and many seniors unwittingly begin to wait for the next healthcare problem. Associating advancing years with declining health, it is easy to see how a medical condition becomes one’s identity.
A beautiful portrayal of aging and the fight against being dismissed and pigeonholed as a senior with health problems unfolds in the play “Quixote Nuevo.” The protagonist is a retired professor with dementia. His cognitive decline is an inconvenience to his family as his mental escapades, fantasies, and delusions become something to fear and medicate. A therapist, priest, and his family gather to convince him to enter an Assisted Living Facility. “An Assisted Dying Facility you mean,” he snipes.
Soon, he escapes on a journey that becomes a quest to heal, make amends, forgive himself and others, and have one last mission in the name of reconciling his regrets and elevating his position to that of a hero fashioned after the character Don Quixote. Along the way, he finds the dignity and resolve to live as the man he believes himself to be. His family wanted to dismiss his history and his story and place him where he would no longer be a nuisance.
Many seniors are waiting for someone to remember them. Remember who they were so they can bring who they are alive again.
A client of mine has Parkinson’s disease and accompanying dementia. She asked recently if she would have to “live this way” for the rest of her life. I get this question a lot. Remembering that she was a biologist. I replied:
“Good biologists like you are working on a cure. There is a hopeful new technology called gene editing and CRISPR technology which scientists believe will offer a cure someday.”
Her eyes lit up. She related to science and her background as a scientist for context, replacing her identity as a “medical problem” in declining health to an intelligent, informed, educated woman. She thanked me for this information and asked me to keep her in the loop about this developing technology.
We can replace ageism with respect and help seniors develop a tailored lifestyle, giving them the autonomy and independence they seek while gently guiding them to safety.